Finding My Joy and Passion Again
Whatever you are looking for is looking for you……
I just love this saying now, as it took me a while to understand it and figure out what it really meant. Whatever you are looking for is looking for you resonate differently for everyone, but it holds true for each of us. Just think back to when you were a child and your teacher, parent or another source figure asked you want you wanted to be when you grew up. What was that? How did it make you feel to want to be that? Did you want to be the “traditional” doctor, dentist, banker, lawyer, fire women/man, police women/man; teacher; an astronaut, or the President of the United States? Did you become what you said you wanted to be as a child?
I can clearly remember wanting to be a veterinary and a hair stylist. I loved animals’ particular cats and dogs and loved styling my doll babies, my mom and sister’s hair. I don’t know if I knew it then but, being around my pets and doing hair was very soothing to me. I was in my own world where I could create all types of exotic hair styles, play in makeup and yes even dress up my Kimpo and Lady Lip my cats. As I grew older and stepped out of my safe space into the grown up world, other people’s realities took over. I will admit that my formative years of school were pretty interesting and the exposure too many different cultures and geographical places excited me. The kids I went to school with had what I thought at the time really far out and interesting parents. This was my first exposure to field trips that took us to the mountains of West Virginia, the beaches in the Caribbean and Broadway plays in New York City. This was a little different from my family vacations where that was our bonding time or going see other family members along the east coast or the islands. Now I was spending time with other kids that didn’t look like me, consumed different foods, wore different clothes, spoke other languages and even danced differently. Now, how was I going to take care of animals, be a famous hair stylist and travel the world?
In college I found yet another interest that was in the field communications, television and radio. Yes, I was going to be the next Oprah Winfrey the talk show extraordinaire. A very competitive field at the time and finding a job was, well can I just say more than challenging and very stressful. What was I going to do now? Bills don’t get paid by wishful thinking. Eventually I ended up in a government position and returned to school to attain a master’s degree in social work. Not so bad, after all I did enjoy working with people and children. Seventeen years under my belt in public service in child welfare, my soul began to cry out “ this is not what I want to do, it’s hard, sad, painful and draining”.
Now don’t get me wrong, social work is not for the faint of heart, a rewarding career, but it no longer felt good. I wanted to help people move from bad to good, help put their lives back together or create new lives for themselves and their families. Dealing with the families that were caught in governments and legal systems took a toll on my overall health and wellbeing. I had to get out and find my joy and passion again. But how to do that was the major question.
Three years ago I sat down with my husband and said “honey we have to talk” yes the dreaded honey we have to talk discussion. However, I think he knew it was coming. He knew that my health was in jeopardy, I wasn’t happy doing what I was doing and I was not present in our home life because I was always tired and didn’t feel good. He asked me two things: What do you want to do and how can I help? My heart did a triple flip and I felt so free. My husband an entrepreneur in his own right clearly understood where I was coming from. He retired from law enforcement years ago because of the stress and devastation that he witnessed day in and day out. He told me “honey you have to get your passion and joy back and this time don’t let anything get in your way”. Together we created a vision board of what we both wanted together, developed a plan of action, and implemented a budget plan since I was going to leave my job. It didn’t happen overnight and there were some bumps along the way. However, my energy changed, my vibration was stronger and I felt the sides of my mouth start going in an upward motion. Was that a smile returning to my face? I started to feel better because now I was creating my vision for myself that I held when I was that kid, full of choices and “I can do that”.
Today I can say that I found my way back to radio and television as the executive producer and talk show host; a published author and speaker; owner of a holistic psychotherapy practice and a global health and wellness retreat business where we travel the world helping women and men discover their true gifts and passions. Life just gets better and better when you take the time to sit and be still. Step out of all the noise that is around you and de-clutter your physical and mental space.
Once I turned off the noise and de-cluttered I was able to search for my joy and passion and it was searching for me. The union was bliss and each day a new bud blossoms filled with more adventures, possibilities, opportunities, light and love. So, I leave you with this, each of us have gifts and talents that may have been left behind or forgotten. Life may have steered you down another road or you received negative feedback or input from someone who didn’t make their dreams come true. Today, I invite you to turn off the noise, declutter your physical and mental space, have an empowerment chat with your spouse or confidant and create your vision plan, develop your plan of action and go seek out your joy and passion. This is your life, Live It Vibrantly.
P. King, MSW, CVB – The Muse Coach